Cracked
by redrose2310
Summary: Shawn is pretty sure he's lost his mind so he tries to protect the people he loves most by killing himself. Can those people he's trying to protect save him from himself? insanity, slash and Self harm.
1. Chapter 1

Shawn talks to dead people. .. And they talk back O.o

Shawn was scared. He didn't want anyone to know that of course but he was. All the time. Shawn had secrets and if anyone found them out he didn't know what he would do. Well he'd die. Cory would leave him. Angelia would leave him. The whole Matthews clan would spit on him. Jack would disown him. They would all hate him. And he would deserve it.

Reason / Secret one. He talked to dead people and they talked back so you know 'HE WAS NUTS'.

Reason / Secret two. He was gay... Yeah that was why he kept putting Angelia off the whole sex thing. They both had so many abandonment issues it really wasn't hard though. They clung to keep other but held each other at arms length. It was perfect. And he was a rat for not telling her the truth.

Reason / Secret three. He had had a crush on Allan Matthews since he was 13-years-old.

Shawn Hunter was very sure he was the scum of the earth.

That was why Shawn decided to kill himself.

He waited until Jack and Eric went out that night. He filled the bathtub with hot water. He grabbed a sixpack he'd bought earlier in the day, grabbed the phone. Grabbed a kitchen knife and went to relax.

He was three beers in when he made the first call.

"Hello?" Angelia answered brightly.

"Hey, it's Shawn."

"Hey Shawn what's up my sexy boytoy?"

"Hey Anegila I called to tell you.." Shawn took a deep breath. " I called to tell you I love you."

"I love you too. Are you okay you sound funny."

"Yeah, well no but that's why I called. You see I love you but i'm not in love with you and I know your not in love with me. You don't want to be alone just like me but your scared of hurting people while I'm scared of being hurt so we use each other and.."

"Shawn?" She sounded like she was crying.

"I think we're holding each other back." Shawn took a deep breath."Anegila I wanted you to know the truth. I'm gay. I think I'm crazy and I can't keep holding you back.. I love you."

"I.. I... I know your right. I love you too." then the line went dead.

Shawn opened a new beer. He finished it and Made a new call.

"Hello?" a bubbly voice said over the line.

"Hi I know your on a date and I'm sorry to interrupt but this is Jack's brother. Can I talk to him for just a sec?"

"Sure!" then away from the phone "Jack your brother's on the phone he sounds upset."

"Shawn you okay?"

"Hey Jack." Shawn said trying not to said drunk and ready to cry.

"Hey Shawn what's wrong?"

"I love you."

"I love you too are you drunk?"

"Yes. But I needed to be tonight. But I'm alone I won't hurt anybody. I broke up with Angila."

"What? Why? I'm coming home."

"No please don't. I broke up with her this time. I told her the truth."

"What truth?"

"She can tell you. I just wanted to tell you I love you and I'm proud your my big brother."

"Thanks Shawn I'm proud your my little brother, look i'm going to-" Shawn hung up on him then.

Shawn finished the rest of the beer and cut his left wrist and dialed the most important number.

"Hiya!"

"Cory." shawn said with a smile.

"Hey Shawn want come over and watch a movie Topanga'S working late so we could watch Scream again?"

"No I'm not going anywhere anymore."

"What do you mean."

"Hey Cory?"

"Yeah?"

"Your my best friend. Your like my brother and that's why I'm the worse person I the whole world."

"What Shawn your the best person in the world."

Shawn laughed. "I wanted to tell you I love you."

"I love you too."

"I know I'm so lucky." Shawn smiled. "I had you in my life."

"You still do."

"Yeah. Hey Cory. can I tell you a secret."

"Sure."

"I'm a virgin."

"I lost the be V before Shawn!" Cory yelled very excitedly.

"Yes you did you stud." Shawn smiled at his friends excitement. "i have another secret."

"Yeah?"

"I'm gay."

"Oh..."

"Do you hate me?"

"I never could hate you! Your my Shawnie."

"I think I'm glad I'm leaving now. I can always be your Shawnie and you'll never hate me because. Because I'm a sick freak." Shawn sobbed and cut his other wrist. the water sure was red. "I love you."

"Where are you going? I love you too. Shawn? Shawn please don't go anywhere."

"You know Cory I'd like to be buried near my dad and maybe. Maybe in that light blue shirt you always said I looked good in..." Everything went black.

"SHAWN!"

I almost cried writing that. There is more to this if anyone wants to read it...


	2. just letting you know!

Not an update! they're talking about pulling all M rating stories from the site! Sign the petition because that would suck so bad for all of us!

petitions/fanfiction-net-stop-the-destruction-of-fanfiction-net 


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